Synopsis: We walk down memory lane when Valerie brags to Caroline about being Stefan’s first love and subsequent heartbreak. Lily tells Stefan about Julian (her boyfriend), while Damon tracks down the last member of Lily’s family to leverage Elena’s casket. Rating: ★★★★★ With the loss of Elena, I didn’t know […]
The Vampire Diaries: Never Let Me Go
Synopsis: Future!Caroline is engaged and gets hunted by the mysterious cross-killer. Back in the past (present), Damon tries to negotiate for Caroline’s (and Elena’s comatose body’s) freedom from Mommy Salvatore and her Witchy Backup Dancers. Rating: ★★★★☆ The writers are really into this framing plot device this season, and this […]
The Vampire Diaries: Day One of Twenty-Two Thousand, Give or Take
Synopsis: With Elena gone, the gang tries to move on; unfortunately, with Mommy Salvatore’s witchy heretic family, the grieving process gets a little more complex as Mystic Falls is evacuated. Oh, and Ric is working on bringing Jo back from the dead. Rating: ★★★☆☆ Welcome back to another fang-tastic season […]
Nerdophiles Catch Up With… The Vampire Diaries
I swear that I will marry the person who makes a CliffNotes version of the nonsense on this show because these season catch ups are brutal and I selectively repressed most of last season’s convoluted mythology culminating in Elena’s unceremonious departure. It’s a glorious trainwreck and I can’t look away. […]
The Vampire Diaries: I’m Thinking Of You All The While Recap
Synopsis: Everyone dies. Well, at least Jo and Liv and Kai do. Elena gets off easy: she’s in a state of suspended animation until Bonnie dies. Rating: ★★★★☆ Well, at least we didn’t kill Elena. This episode was a downer if I ever saw one. Thanks, TVD writers. The scene […]
The Vampire Diaries: I’ll Wed You in the Golden Summertime Recap
Synopsis: Alaric and Jo are getting married! Too bad they can’t catch a break – Mommy Salvatore escapes and looks like she finally got what she wanted and Kai interrupts the nuptials. Delena talk about their future. Rating: ★★★★★ It’s wedding time! I’m a sucker for a good wedding episode […]
The Vampire Diaries: I’d Leave My Happy Home for You Recap
Synopsis: It’s time for the bachelor/bachelorette parties for Ric and Jo. Festivities get interrupted when Mommy Salvatore goes off the deep end and almost kills Bonnie and threatens a newly human Elena who now remembers her entire relationship with Damon. Rating: ★★★★☆ Less than two minutes into the episode, Ric […]
The Vampire Diaries: Because Recap
Synopsis: Stefan succeeds in flipping Caroline’s humanity switch back on, but it looks like the couple might not survive the fallout. Mommy Salvatore presents Elena with the Cure in an attempt to ruin her son’s relationship. In the end, Damon offers to take the Cure with Elena to live their […]
The Vampire Diaries: I Could Never Love Like That Recap
Synopsis: Damon and his mother finally manage to turn Stefan’s humanity back on, Elena (randomly) expresses her dissatisfaction with being a vampire, and the show violates the rules of its own universe by introducing a new species of superwitch vampires. Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ It’s extremely obvious that Nina Dobrev announced that […]
The Vampire Diaries: A Bird in a Gilded Cage Recap
Synopsis: Stefan convinces Caroline to cut loose while Damon, Elena, Bonnie, and Kai go to the 1903 prison world to retrieve Damon’s mother and trap Kai for good. Rating: ★★★☆☆ This episode was a helluva lot tamer than I expected from the promos and the crew’s Twitter accounts. Sigh. We […]
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