Well, folks, this is it. After 7 seasons of vampy-witchy-Original-heretic-Newcomer-traveller-Anchor-werewolf-doppelganger ridiculousness, at long last, everything is finally ending. Oh, how far we’ve come from the story of Elena Gilbert, the girl who just lost her parents and discovered the hot, new kid in school is supernatural. Seriously though. This show has gotten so […]
The Vampire Diaries: Moonlight on the Bayou Recap
Synopsis: Stefan’s on the run from Rayna and his travels take him to the Big Easy, where he encounters Klaus. In the meantime, Caroline’s having trouble letting go of her twinspawn, and Enzo’s in deep with another secret society. Rating: ★★★☆☆ (for insufficient Klaroline) You heard all the promos right, […]
The Vampire Diaries: Things We Lost in the Fire Recap
Synopsis: Damon’s post hell experience does not go smoothly. In fact, he might have torched Elena’s comatose body while hallucinating. Rating:????? Well, I guess we’re just burning the corpse of the show’s flagship character now. That’s cool. Let’s just let any hope of Nina Dobrev’s return go down in flames. […]
The Vampire Diaries: Hell is Other People Recap
Synopsis: Damon’s hell is a repetitive loop of a Confederate mission gone south (hah) and he may or may not escape depending on how **Inceptive** the writers decide to make the second half of the season. Rating: ★★★☆☆ Normally I’m not a huge fan of Groundhog Day-esque hellscapes where the […]
The Vampire Diaries: Cold as Ice Recap
Synopsis: Stefan and Damon hunt Julian, only to be caught and forced into the Phoenix Stone. Caroline freaks out about having Alaric’s babies. Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ Well that was one of the weakest mid-season finales in Vampire Diaries history. This episode was fairly unremarkable — we’ve got a story going in […]
The Vampire Diaries: Mommie Dearest Recap
Synopsis: The Salvatore brothers kidnap their mother to show her how her relationship with Julian is abusive, just like her relationship with their father. Meanwhile, Enzo and Julian fight a duel for Lily, Caroline tries to figure out if she’s really pregnant, and Matt tries to save the room full […]
The Vampire Diaries: Best Served Cold Recap
Synopsis: Yeah so Caroline is pregnant with Ric’s witchspawn and apparently nothing really mattered these past 6 seasons in terms of relationship continuity. Oh, and Lily throws a party. Rating: ????? I keep restarting this recap because all I can write are rants filled with curse words in SHOUTY CAPITALS. […]
The Vampire Diaries: Live Through This Recap
Synopsis: Stefan, Damon, and Valerie go on a trip to find and kill Julian, while Bonnie and Enzo discover the secret of the Phoenix Stone. Rating: ★★★★☆ So that was pretty much the best flash forward ever. Three years from now, Bonnie’s checked herself into some sort of rehab facility. […]
The Vampire Diaries: I Carry Your Heart with Me Recap
Synopsis: Ric and Bonnie fiddle with the Phoenix Stone to resurrect Oscar, while Caroline and Stefan babysit Mary-Louise and Nora at a Heaven & Hell Halloween costume party. Rating: ★★★★☆ Woo! Halloween in Mystic Falls! Three years later, Ric is putting two adorable twin girls to bed! He’s suddenly interrupted […]
The Vampire Diaries: Age of Innocence Recap
Synopsis: We walk down memory lane when Valerie brags to Caroline about being Stefan’s first love and subsequent heartbreak. Lily tells Stefan about Julian (her boyfriend), while Damon tracks down the last member of Lily’s family to leverage Elena’s casket. Rating: ★★★★★ With the loss of Elena, I didn’t know […]
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