Synopsis: Stefan’s on the run from Rayna and his travels take him to the Big Easy, where he encounters Klaus. In the meantime, Caroline’s having trouble letting go of her twinspawn, and Enzo’s in deep with another secret society. Rating: ★★★☆☆ (for insufficient Klaroline) You heard all the promos right, […]
The Vampire Diaries: Postcards from the Edge Recap
Synopsis: Damon’s all twisty angsty inside after he torched Elena’s body last week so he decides to throw his death wish in Julian’s face. Fight Club ensues. Oh, and Caroline’s devil twinspawn is slowly killing her and the Huntress reawakens. Rating:★★★☆☆ So this episode is all about Damon’s demons, which […]
The Vampire Diaries: Best Served Cold Recap
Synopsis: Yeah so Caroline is pregnant with Ric’s witchspawn and apparently nothing really mattered these past 6 seasons in terms of relationship continuity. Oh, and Lily throws a party. Rating: ????? I keep restarting this recap because all I can write are rants filled with curse words in SHOUTY CAPITALS. […]
The Vampire Diaries: Live Through This Recap
Synopsis: Stefan, Damon, and Valerie go on a trip to find and kill Julian, while Bonnie and Enzo discover the secret of the Phoenix Stone. Rating: ★★★★☆ So that was pretty much the best flash forward ever. Three years from now, Bonnie’s checked herself into some sort of rehab facility. […]
The Vampire Diaries: Age of Innocence Recap
Synopsis: We walk down memory lane when Valerie brags to Caroline about being Stefan’s first love and subsequent heartbreak. Lily tells Stefan about Julian (her boyfriend), while Damon tracks down the last member of Lily’s family to leverage Elena’s casket. Rating: ★★★★★ With the loss of Elena, I didn’t know […]
The Vampire Diaries: Never Let Me Go
Synopsis: Future!Caroline is engaged and gets hunted by the mysterious cross-killer. Back in the past (present), Damon tries to negotiate for Caroline’s (and Elena’s comatose body’s) freedom from Mommy Salvatore and her Witchy Backup Dancers. Rating: ★★★★☆ The writers are really into this framing plot device this season, and this […]
The Vampire Diaries: Day One of Twenty-Two Thousand, Give or Take
Synopsis: With Elena gone, the gang tries to move on; unfortunately, with Mommy Salvatore’s witchy heretic family, the grieving process gets a little more complex as Mystic Falls is evacuated. Oh, and Ric is working on bringing Jo back from the dead. Rating: ★★★☆☆ Welcome back to another fang-tastic season […]
Nerdophiles Catch Up With… The Vampire Diaries
I swear that I will marry the person who makes a CliffNotes version of the nonsense on this show because these season catch ups are brutal and I selectively repressed most of last season’s convoluted mythology culminating in Elena’s unceremonious departure. It’s a glorious trainwreck and I can’t look away. […]
The Vampire Diaries: I’m Thinking Of You All The While Recap
Synopsis: Everyone dies. Well, at least Jo and Liv and Kai do. Elena gets off easy: she’s in a state of suspended animation until Bonnie dies. Rating: ★★★★☆ Well, at least we didn’t kill Elena. This episode was a downer if I ever saw one. Thanks, TVD writers. The scene […]
The Vampire Diaries: I’d Leave My Happy Home for You Recap
Synopsis: It’s time for the bachelor/bachelorette parties for Ric and Jo. Festivities get interrupted when Mommy Salvatore goes off the deep end and almost kills Bonnie and threatens a newly human Elena who now remembers her entire relationship with Damon. Rating: ★★★★☆ Less than two minutes into the episode, Ric […]
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