Nancy is a newer podcast in my rotation. Hosted by best friends Tobin Low and Kathy Tu, Nancy is a queer podcast examining the LGBTQ community, and it’s a part of the NPR podcast family. One of my favorite things about podcasts is that you can learn about people different from yourself while commuting to work. And that’s why Nancy has been a mainstay in my podcast line-up since it began. It’s funny, insightful, and vulnerable. Also, they did an episode on The Golden Girls, which I loved.
The audience for Nancy was a small, yet dedicated group of fans. Since this was their first live recording there was bound to be a hiccup. Mostly that was when Kathy, script in hand, tripped on the way up to the stage. It was like Jennifer Lawrence at the Oscars. What should have been embarrassing was endearing and adorable.
They plunged into a discussion about dating and who had the right approach: Tobin or Kathy. Tobin’s take on dating was that it is a numbers game. You have to go through X number of dates to be ready for that One Great Date. It’s the epitome of opportunity meets preparation. Your dating muscle is ready because you’ve worked out the reps with lesser dates.
Kathy’s idea is that dating is a magic moment. At the first date, you should know if this is it or not. To quote Tobin’s mother, “Love should be magic.”
Tobin is the one who has proven his method works. He gamed the system on OkCupid and got a boyfriend out of it. Kathy went through a major breakup when the podcast started a few months ago, and (as far as we know) is still single.
So which is the reigning royal thought on love? After much discussion and debate between the two hosts, they brought a special guest to help them out.
Ryan Haddad just finished a run of his solo show Hi, Are You Single? at the Under The Radar Festival at The Public Theatre. The excerpt he performed from the show was witty, sharp, and vulnerable. It was more engaging than some Broadway shows I’ve seen (coughmoreArthurMillercough).
The byline of his show is “Do you have a high sex drive? Ryan does. He also has cerebral palsy. No, those things are not mutually exclusive.” Ryan went straight in, asking the audience questions directly. “What’s your favorite time of day to have sex? Who’s your celebrity fantasy? What’s your favorite position?” He then moved into a story involving Grindr, a pickup, and the holidays. I’m hoping someone picks up this show because from a 10 minute except, I’m know dying to see the whole show.
Ryan’s interview was just as sharp as his written piece. Ryan developed the piece while in college, but its become more mature as Ryan has gone through his twenties. He gave some solid advice on why he doesn’t tolerate ghosting (mostly it’s that grown men should be able to say, “I’m not interested.”). He also took on the idea that disabled people are inspiring for merely getting out of an Uber. Ryan wants to be inspiring for his art, for his activism, and for winning his inevitable Tony Award.
And finally, we got to vote on who has the right ideas on love and dating. Was it Tobin’s numbers game or Kathy’s magic moment? By just a few votes, Tobin won out. Though Ryan had a different idea. He believes in Kathy’s ideal, but agrees that Tobin’s dating-by-numbers is more realistic for dating, especially in New York City.
With that Nancy ended, and the audience filed out. It was a lovely, enjoyable way to spend an afternoon. Thanks, Nancy!
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