The Vampire Diaries: An Eternity of Misery Recap

Synopsis: We learn the origin story of the Sirens (!) while Damon goes on a treasure hunt that ends with maiming Matt’s father.

First things first: are you a village girl or an island girl?

Shout out to our girl Sybil for giving Buzzfeed the perfect quiz headline. Also shout out to the writers for giving us a pretty solid episode. Julie Plec and team have been teasing Sybil’s soft, gooey center for the past couple of weeks on the blogosphere – and now it’s finally here!

While she’s sitting in her Armory cell, Sybil regales Stefan with her origin story.

Turns out our girl Sybil got her start as a psychic. She grew up in a small (minded) village community that exiled her when her powers manifested. When she washed up on the shore of a barren island, she found another psychic Island girl. The two became sisters. 

Unfortunately for the pair of them, the whole situation was less Robinson Crusoe and more Lord of the Flies. There was no food on the island, so the Island girl took to calling to passing ships and wrecking them on the rocks. She’d raid the ships’ provisions as they washed up on shore.

The only problem? Besides the whole ‘luring sailors to their deaths’ thing? Well, the ‘provisions’ were actually human bodies. That’s right, folks, Island girl was a straight-up cannibal.

And what’s worse, she lied and fed little Village girl human meat for years. After Village girl found out, she threw herself off a cliff. As she lay dying, Island girl vowed to do anything to save her.

Cue Cade – the original psychic dude who got burned at the stake for being a mindreader. Turns out Cade’s death created a new realm where he reigns supreme as eternal torturer, e.g. Satan. Cade bargains with Island girl. She agrees that both girls will be his youthful, immortal servants for eternity, sent to feast on the flesh of evil humans.

Back to the Armory, Sybil asks Stefan if he’s a Village girl or an Island girl – if he’s a victim or a monster. He says he’s both. Then, Sybil tells him he has to kill Cade to free his brother.

Meanwhile, during story time, Georgie (the intrepid Armory intern) breaks into Ric’s house and steals a book. Selene confronts her, but just as Selene calls Ric to report the break-in, Georgie stabs Ric in the neck and imprisons him in the Siren’s vault. Joke’s on us, though – turns out Selene is the real Other Siren, and she’s also the Island girl, and Sybil wants nothing to do with her.

In the secondary plot, Damon goes searching for an heirloom that leads him to torturing Matt Donovan’s father. After threatening both Donovans, he finds what he’s looking for and leads Matt to Tyler’s body.