Game of Thrones: Home Recap

Synopsis of 6×02: House Stark has a pretty good series of events, Tyrion gets fired up, and really just a bunch of small scenes and glimpses happen.

Rating:★★★☆☆ UNTIL RAMSAY SO ☆☆☆☆☆

I said the Starks have a good episode for once, and I’d like to say, “Thank you finally nothing bad happens to them!!!!” Makes my weary heart flutter. So let’s give Arya a sentence because let’s be honest, she was only there for the blink of an eye. Here it is: Arya is still blind on the street and the other girl comes to attack like always but guess what? It’s Jaqen and he’s ready to take Arya back to the House of Black and White. Moving on.

Sansa is united with Pod and Brienne, who are determined to keep her safe. Now that Reek is gone and Theon is completely back he feels immense guilt for what he’s done and is going to go home to his family. Sansa asks him to stay but he declares that Brienne and Pod would keep her safer than he ever could. I gotta say to that, yeah. Yeah they will. You did a pretty shit job of that back at Winterfell after all. But he’s determined to head home, to the family he hasn’t seen in years.

But that’s gonna be tough, you see. After like, 3 seasons without hearing from them (yeah I know we saw them once in both seasons 3 and 4 but that’s 2-3 years and 5 mins of airtime let’s be honest) we enter into some crazy stuff with the Greyjoys.

Basically Balon continues to be a jerk to Yara and then goes for a walk. Oh, don’t forget, they’re the ones who live on that stormy island with very flimsy suspension bridges between buildings. Anyways, Balon’s brother (Euron or something I can’t care to remember) just pops up and goes, “Yo brother. I want to be king.” And of course Balon replies with, “LOL like that would happen, step off,”  which makes Euron mad and he throws Balon off the bridge to his death. Of course.

At the funeral Yara declares she is now Queen and some random guy goes, “Nah, we don’t want one of them womens on the throne, we gon’ throw us a Kings Moot.” So yeah, if Theon is going to go back he’s in for a real surprise.

Theon would probably be more surprised at what Bran is going through. He’s with the three eyed Raven still in a trance but man did that tree give him a strong dose of testosterone? Growth spurt aside, we are introduced to the second flashback of the series, one of Winterfell. And it’s not from Bran’s past, oh no, he’s taken back to when his father was alive, and Benjen and Lyanna too. It’s a little jarring to see her in her youth as the adventurous, beautiful girl everyone was in love with, but seeing the moment of true sibling love before the events of Robert’s Rebellion was what was really touching.

But you know what was actually worth a single tear? Seeing Hodor in the past, but he was just a teen named Willis, and he spoke clearly and proudly. Bran snaps out of his trance upon seeing that and looks over to Hodor, who simply responds with “Hodor” when Bran calls him by his real name. They have A LOT to do in terms of explaining ALL of the magic in the show, but that was definitely a worthy reentry of some characters we haven’t seen for two years.

Even though Bran can stand in his visions, he’s still paralyzed due to the actions of Jamie Lannister. Tommen is distraught over not being able to see his mother, over not being able to help her. Jamie is even more infuriated by the distress that she is in, and in a rather strong moment, nearly kills the High Sparrow. Man, I gotta say, hats off to Jonathan Pryce. He plays the Sparrow in such a manipulative, mysterious way. But even though he makes Jamie mad, Jamie knows he can’t kill him since he’s got all his crazies backing him up.

Tyrion, another Lannister, is still off in Mereen drinking and dishing out witty quips. The usual. He also goes to the dungeon to see the dragons who have been in a rage ever since mama left town which is even madder than when she left him in the dungeon. He’s able to connect to the dragons enough that they let him free them from their shackles. Tyrion tells Varys to punch him in the face if he ever tries to do that again, and I gotta admit, it was a surprise to see him pull that off.

You know what wasn’t a surprise?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And to end this recap: STOP MAKING RAMSAY INFALLIBLE LIKE WHY CAN’T SOMETHING AWFUL HAPPEN TO HIM. I refuse to be calm about this – he is a disgusting creature. Kill him. Pleaseeeeeee kill him.

Cause I can’t keep putting up with this bs.