Nerdophiles Catch Up With… The Vampire Diaries

I swear that I will marry the person who makes a CliffNotes version of the nonsense on this show because these season catch ups are brutal and I selectively repressed most of last season’s convoluted mythology culminating in Elena’s unceremonious departure. It’s a glorious trainwreck and I can’t look away.

Anyway, no one’s put a ring on it. So in the meantime, here we are.

And here’s what happened last season on The Vampire Diaries.

Elena, aka “Sleeping Beauty” / Damon

Elena spent part of the season wiping away her memories of Damon, who she thought was Gone Forever on The Other Side.

Turns out the witches who conjured The Other Side and the other prison worlds left a Damon-and-(eventually) Bonnie-and-Kai sized loophole. With the blood of a Bennett witch and the Ascendant, the trio escaped back to This Side.

Elena then spent the remainder of the season trying to remember why she was into Damon in the first place, and it was super painful.

Eventually Elena comes around, but Bonnie comes back bearing the Cure for Vampirism #tiredplotpoint and Damon can’t deny her the one thing she wants. Elena takes the Cure and becomes human just in time to be placed in mortal danger (surprise!) by Mommy Salvatore and her witchy-vampy craziness.

All’s well that ends well after Mommy is defeated (temporarily), until Kai comes back for revenge and places a spell on Elena and Bonnie so that as long as Bonners lives, Elena is in a magical coma. *Cue Elena’s exit*

Damon spent a lot of the season getting out of The Other Side and then Winning Back Elena. We see a decent amount of character growth after he refuses to kill Bonnie to save Elena from her coma. Damon kills Kai, but doesn’t break the spell.

Kai

Kai was entrapped in the Prison World and then banished to Mommy Salvatore’s Prison World 2.0 after he merged with Luke. He escapes both Prisons and returns to kill everyone on Jo and Alaric’s wedding day. How? By killing himself, and by magicky extension, the rest of the Geminis. Kai gamed the system and turns into a Heretic with Lily Salvatore’s blood and places the coma spell on Elena/Bonnie before he’s killed by Damon.

Unfortunately, Kai took Liv, Jo, Jo’s unborn twins, and the rest of the Gemini Coven down before he died, leaving behind a devastated Ric and a werewolfed Tyler from a martyred Liv.

Caroline/Stefan

Caroline’s mother died from A Cancer That Vampirism Can’t Cure (coincidentally the name of Panic! at the Disco’s new album) and Care went berserk.

Well, a controlled, Caroline kind of berserk. She turned off her humanity switch, and everything was FINE before her friends interfered, forcing her to kidnap Stefan’s niece (?) and leverage her life so Stefan would turn off his humanity switch and they could Bonnie and Clyde the hell out of Mystic Falls.

Eventually Caroline turns her switch back on and Damon brings back Mommy Salvatore from Prison World to get Stefan to do the same. Then Steroline FINALLY happens!

Mommy Salvatore / Enzo

Mommy Salvatore feels no allegiance toward her sons after being stuck in Prison World for a few centuries. Enzo learns that Mommy Salvatore is also his sire, and he’s a member of the Heretics- the witchy vampires with special powers that Defy Nature.

And, surprise! Kai freed them from the Prison World!

Keep an eye out for our recaps of season 7 of The Vampire Diaries when it comes back October 8th!