Teen Wolf: A Novel Approach Recap

Synopsis: Donovan dies and his body disappears along with the rest of the Dread Doctors’ victims, leading the gang to Eichenhouse and Dr. Gabriel Valack. Valack tells Lydia that he knows about the Doctors and exchanges ‘information’ for a recording of her scream, which he then uses to escape the facility after the Doctors attack.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I hate it when my television is all shoddy exposition and no action.

Buckle in, because we’re in for a bumpy last half of the season.

So last week we left Stiles in a dark parking lot near the high school trying to start his Jeep (which, surprisingly, still doesn’t have its own card in the title sequence). White-teen-boy-angst Donovan creeped up on Stiles and bit him with his lamprey wendigo teeth.

Stiles, who should know by now that he should always carry pepper spray and never go out alone at night in Beacon Hills (#victimblaming) manages to incapacitate Donovan and run into the high school. Coincidentally, the high school set also deserves its own card in the title sequence at this point.

The two play a game of cat-and-mouse in the library, during which Donovan tells Stiles that his father and the Sheriff used to be partners. Donovan’s dad got shot in the spine and paralyzed on an assignment because the Sheriff didn’t have his partner’s back (literally).

The standoff culminates in Stiles climbing up scaffolding with Donovan nipping (literally) at his heels. Stiles pulls out a screw from the scaffolding and the entire structure comes tumbling down, impaling and killing White Teen Boy Angst. The same silver liquid from the other victims spills out of WTBA’s wound site.

Stiles panics and hyperventilates for a solid four minutes of screen time where he calls 911 and then watches as the police come and go without calling for backup. When he goes back in the building, Donovan’s whiny corpse is gone. What the team doesn’t know is that Parrish keeps stealing these bodies in his trance-state.

In obvious plot-assistance point of the week, the team read the dedication to the sci-fi novel (**”The Dread Doctors”** ) they found last week and it leads them to Dr. Gabriel Valack. You know, the one with the third eye.

Anyway, Lyds and Stiles go to investigate. Kira and Scott chill in the basement of Eichenhouse because apparently the whole facility is lined with mountain ash.

Valack admits to writing the Doctor book and promises Lydia information in exchange for a recording of her scream. Meanwhile, Kira’s losing control of her powers and short-circuiting the Eichenhouse facility. #pseu-pernaturalscience

The Doctors put in an appearance, leaving Scott to rescue Kira while Lyds and Stiles escape after Lyds records the scream for Valack. The Doctors come in and take Valack’s third eye with some pliers or whatever ~scientific~ instrument they have in their scuba suits.

Valack’s information is about as helpful as an ice pick on the Titanic because he tells the gang just to hole up at a coffee shop, chill, crack open his book, and let the memories of Jacques Cousteau come flooding back.

Anyway, after Dr. Flasher is assaulted, he uses Lydia’s recorded scream to shatter his cell glass and escape.

In other news, Theo started hitting on Malia, who remembered her childhood car accident was caused by a Desert Wolf assassination attempt.

Also, Scott and Kira have a tender moment post-Doctors, where he says he meant it when he told her he loved her. Finally, Kira and Scott discuss how Stiles still likes Lyds, which leads me to believe that they’re forever endgame.