Game of Thrones: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken Recap

Synopsis of 5×06: Arya’s training advances, Maergery and Loras are arrested by the insane Faith Militant, crazy things happen in Dorne, but none of this matters because the writers of this show hate us and women.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

I’m so mad about this episode.

SO MAD.

Mad to the point that I still can’t find it in me to really write in detail about this episode because it all boils down to that final disgusting scene with Sansa. I don’t know why the writers seem hell bent on destroying her and making her a side show in what’s essentially her story (she’s a main POV character in the books), but they are and I’m frankly sick of it.

But before I get into that, let’s get a brief recap of what else happened in this episode that could have been good if not for that last scene.

Jorah and Tyrion are recovering after surviving the attack from the Stone Men although Jorah’s arm seems to become more grey and scale like with every passing moment. In the only comical scene of the entire episode, Jorah and Tyrion are captured and when the slavers decide to kill Tyrion (since a dwarf penis has magical properties or so they believe) and sell that, Tyrion is lightning on his feet and we finally remember why we like him. He’s been a drunken one-liner kind of man all season but his quick thinking of telling the people they’d have to have him alive to prove his penis was really that of a dwarf (I kid you not) and that on top of that they could have Jorah in the fighting pits since he’s such a skilled fighter. The slavers decide that he has the right idea and they take off for a trip much different than they were expecting.

Tyrion’s sister Cersei though, is off plotting her own devilish ways to ensure her power in King’s Landing. After Loras was arrested, Olenna travels to the city to make sure that her granddaughter is safe and ensures her that this will all be over. I’ve honestly missed Olenna because she is probably the most conniving of them all and has been around longer than most. Her scene with Cersei as she demands her to stop pretending to write since they both knew she was just trying to look important was fantastic, and her power was felt even though Cersei knows she currently has the Faith Militant under her thumb.

As Loras is interrogated about his relationship with Renly, Maegery and Olenna look on, pleased with his denial of any sort of relationship with him, or men in general. As they go to leave, the High Sparrow calls Maergery as a witness, and she appears slightly shaken, if not annoyed. After parroting her brother and denying any homosexual relationship with others, they bring in the male from the brothel we have seen all these seasons and who was in Loras’ bed in the beginning of this one. He tells of how the siblings both knew and that he could prove Loras had slept with him due to a birthmark on his thigh and Loras loses it and both him and Maergery end up being arrested; one for homosexuality and one for lying in front of the Gods, a crime punishable by death.

The weak King Tommen sat there dumbfounded as they carried his bride off while Cersei sat there with that callous grin on her face.

Elsewhere, Arya is learning that while she might not be ready to become no one, she might be ready to become someone else since she’s slowly learning the ways of the Faceless Men. Also, remember those corpses and how she wanted to know where they were going? Pretty creepy I do say.

The best scene though during the Arya part of the episode (no, not her mercy killing a child) was honestly the one between her and the “waif” who tells the story of how she ended up with the Faceless Men herself. As Arya smiles to herself, believing that she’s learning more about the only other companion she has, the girl turns stone faced and asks how much of that she actually believed, proving that to succeed you have to lie.

Before I get into the final part of the episode, I just want to exhault my love for House Martell and Dorne and their people and just how awesome this part of the story is and how I wish they just focused on them for once. The Sand Snakes and Ellaria plot their attack on Myrcella while Trystane and her waltz about the gardens. Honestly Trystane and Myrcella have the most normal and sweet relationship on the show, and seeing him kiss her and talk of how he just can’t wait for them to be married was absolutely wonderful. While Prince Doran definitely has his ways of protecting his son and soon to be daughter-in-law, the Sand Snakes don’t care and make their way to their target.

Unfortunately for them, Jamie and Bronn have arrived at the same time, and while Myrcella seems excited (if not ultimately confused) by her “uncle’s” sudden appearance, it all goes to hell in a handbasket the second that Trystane realizes that they are wearing someone else’s clothes due to the blood on them and goes to protect her. At that same moment when Bronn knocks out the Prince, the Sand Snakes arrive, and they aren’t going to let a Lannister steal their prey.

In a great fight scene, we see the three sisters and their unique fighting styles and it honestly makes sense why they are feared – they are warriors. As they try to run off with Myrcella, the guards rush in and cease the fighting, arresting everyone who is there as Ellaria is arrested in her hiding space.

Oh how I wish the Martells were the focus of this show…

Because the episode ended with this s***. If these posts could be “R” rated my swearing would be out the roof in my explanation of this part of the story with Sansa. The first part of it was creepy enough with Miranda helping Sansa bathe and prepare for the wedding. She recounts tales of all the girls that Ramsay had done away with once he bored of them and Sansa deduces that Miranda loves him, and tells her to leave.

The dye now out of her hair, Theon shows up and asks her to take his arm but she refuses, saying that she doesn’t care what happens to him when he says he’ll be punished if not. Ok, cool, Sansa’s standing up for herself in the ways she can, awesome.

Basically the wedding happens and they move to the bedroom where for a split second Ramsay seems like he’s going to let her go to sleep, but we all know how wrong that is. He starts demanding that she assures him of her virginity and that if she lies he would know, and that’s never a good way to start a marriage. As Theon goes to leave, Ramsay demands that he stays and watch his childhood friend “turn into a woman” and then Ramsay rips off Sansa’s dress, throws her on the bed, and brutally rapes her as Theon watches.

I screamed. I texted too many people in all caps about my anger and I nearly gave up on the show.

They’ve taken Sansa and made her a sideshow in her own story. This rape did nothing but give us a reason to feel even worse for her and worse for Theon who was forced to watch.

Do the writers HATE Sansa? Do they want to destroy her over and over again and then somehow make her strong in ways that she really isn’t? Of all characters, why do they continue to treat her this way?

I can’t give you an answer, but I can tell you one thing: this isn’t divisive in the way that the writers thought it would be. And how could they say it would be divisive? Either you agree that Sansa should have been raped or you don’t? That you want to see Sansa in more pain or you don’t?

It was divisive in one way for sure though – making sure a lot of people who were on the fence about this season give up on the show entirely.

It could have been a slightly more adventurous episode than the others this season, but the writers pulled my least favorite trope in writing ever- Rape for Shock Value – and sent the rating down the drain.

I can’t even say let’s hope they redeem themselves next week, let’s just prepare for more of this bulls***.